To Be the Best
by Jay's Song
Summary: I was always the best. I was always the smartest. Until my life and dreams were ruined one day...by him. Listen to my story. (One-shot for SunnyDrop's contest.)
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is a one-shot for SunnyDrop's contest. It's kind of long, but…I like it long! There's a lot of time skip in this one, so bear with me! Okay, enjoy!**

I woke up, and I squinted as bright sunlight hit my eyes. I looked away, my eyes stinging.

"Dapplekit, you've opened your eyes!"

I lifted my head to see my mother's face above me. I immediately knew it was my mother. Who else could be so warm and beautiful?

"Meet your siblings!" my mother mewed, nudging awake my sister and brother.

Shadekit grumbled, opening his eyes. "Hey, you're up!" he mewed, leaping to his paws.

"Of course," I mewed indignantly.

My sister, Sedgekit, laughed lightly and rubbed muzzles with me. "Come on, Dapplekit! Let's show you the RiverClan camp!"

I followed my siblings around, patiently listening and watching as they showed me everything in the RiverClan camp. But what intrigued me the most was the fallen tree where the leader stood.

It was so high above me, it hurt my neck to look up. A stream ran beneath the tree, merrily trickling. On the top of the fallen tree sat Streamstar, head high and eyes gazing over all the camp with supremacy. In a heartbeat I knew that I wanted to be up there…high over everyone…watching everything. I vowed to myself that someday I would be leader…one day I would be up there.

oOo

"Dapplekit, from this day onward, until you receive your warrior name, you shall be known as Dapplepaw. Your mentor…shall be Hailspots."

I lifted my head proudly and puffed out my chest. Why not? After all, Hailspots was the RiverClan deputy. I was honored to be trained by him!

I touched noses with him, my eyes gleaming. I was one paw-step closer to gaining leadership.

oOo

Hailspots led me through the RiverClan territory, with me bouncing excitedly at his side. He showed me all the borders, told me the strengths and weakness of other Clans, and warned me of the things I should never touch or go near. I memorized all that. If I was to be leader, I would have to know every inch of my territory.

After exploring most of the territory, Hailspots led me to a large stream that ran through the territory and spilled into the lake. It was quite deep, and I could see the silver flash of fish within the water.

"I would like to try catching one," I mewed, halting.

Hailspots sat down at a distance and nodded. "Very well. You remember the things I told you about catching fish while we were walking?"

"Yes," I mewed confidently, sitting down next to the stream. I made sure my shadow did not fall onto the water, and that I was as still as a stone. I hoped my tortoiseshell-and-white pelt blended in with everything else around me. The more, the better.

I watched silently, as fish began to swim by, and I was glad that they did not notice me. A plump fish caught my eye, its silvery-brown scales flashing. I lashed out my paw as quick as lightning, and I hooked the fish before it even noticed me. I flipped it onto the ground and gave it a blow to the head that ended its life.

Hailspots got up, eyes shining with pride and shock. "You caught it!" he gasped, coming forwards. "And one of that size, too!"

I took it in my jaws, warm with happiness.

"You have skill. I'm proud to mentor you," Hailspots mewed, putting his tail on my shoulder. "Let's go back to camp and show your prize to the others."

As I walked along with him, I vowed to myself again. I vowed that I would be the best. I vowed that nothing shall stop me.

oOo

I practiced and practiced, trained and trained. I did it every day until I was bone-tired. But I didn't let that stop me. I _had _to be the best. And the skills I reaped were worth it.

I caught out-catch any apprentice at a fishing contest. I could out-breathe any other cat underwater. I could swim faster and longer than even the most skilled warrior. I even added skills to my training that no other apprentice has ever done. I could climb as well as a ThunderClan cat. I could run as well as a WindClan cat. And I could stalk in the shadows like a ShadowClan cat.

The praise I got fueled me. Every day, I would hear praises from not only from my mentor and Clanmates, but also from my _leader_. Streamstar would watch me occasionally and teach me herself. She showed me the best moves, and taught me strategy. Soon enough, I was one of the smartest cats around. I could outthink prey, outthink enemies, and outthink almost everyone.

I loved being the best. I loved being smartest. I loved being the most skilled. My path to leadership was inevitable…Until _he_ came along.

oOo

"Dapplepaw, from this moment onwards you shall be known as Dapplesnow. StarClan honors your skills and technique, and we welcome you as a full warrior of RiverClan!"

Streamstar laid her muzzle on my head, and I licked her shoulder. Then I stepped back and lifted my head high, proudly listening as the Clan chanted my name.

My sister and brother had also gotten their warrior names. They were now Sedgecloud and Shadehawk. And I was now Dapplesnow…my path to leadership was getting clearer and clearer. Hailspots was getting old. His muzzle was graying, and he could no longer fight as well as he did in his younger days. If he stepped down…Then Streamstar would pick only _one _cat: Me.

oOo

I received an apprentice a few days after becoming a warrior. Yes, that's how much Streamstar trusted me. I was glad…Streamstar only chose trustworthy cats to become her deputy. I was one of them.

oOo

I led my apprentice, Minnowpaw, along the border. I taught him everything I knew, and he caught on well. If I _did _become leader, he'd be the first cat I'd choose to be my deputy.

My life changed that day...It changed horribly. It was the day that started my misery.

At the border, we met a rogue. His named was Gale, and he wanted to join the Clan. And I admit I had a crush on him first. He was handsome…and he was skilled. Maybe _too _skilled.

oOo

Everything changed after I met Gale. His name was changed to Galeheart. We became…closer. I liked him at first…and then I hated him with every fiber of my body.

He was…he was _better _than me. He did everything I could do…but he did it _better_. I was no longer the one who got all the praise…He did.

You know what it felt like? To be bested? I was _always _the best…I was always the smartest…I was always the most skilled. And you know what? He was better. Everything I did, he was always a paw step ahead of me. It broke my heart every time they praised him…instead of me. You call me selfish? Then you are a fool. It was my _dream_! It was my dream to be the best! Do you know what it feels like when a dream is torn apart? It _hurts_.

I hated Galeheart. I could not bring myself to admit that he was better than me. I was too _proud_. My pride was my downfall…

oOo

"Hailspots has chosen to step down from the position as deputy!" Streamstar mewed from on top of the fallen tree. "Hailspots, is it your wish to join the elders den?"

"It is," Hailspots croaked. He was _definitely _getting old. His voice was hoarse, his muzzle getting gray. His eyes were now duller, and he moved stiffly.

But my eyes shone. I would be deputy today! Surely, Streamstar would not choose _Galeheart_? Galeheart wasn't Clan-born! Today was the day…where all my skills would be put to use. I smiled inwardly. The dream since kit-hood would come true. Today.

"RiverClan honors what you have done for you Clan, Hailspots, and you shall always be treated with respect," Streamstar mewed, dipping her head to the old cat.

Hailspots nodded and turned to join the elders, who sat in a small group. They murmured approval and welcomed Hailspots with respectful nods.

"Now is the time to choose a new deputy to take Hailspots place!" Streamstar called, gazing down at the Clan.

My heart leaped. This was the day! The day where my dreams would be fulfilled.

"I say this in front of StarClan, that they might approve my choice," Streamstar mewed, looking up at the sky reverently.

I purred to myself. Oh, I had the position grasped in my paws! I would be deputy!

"From this day onwards…" Streamstar's eyes roved through the cats gathered below. They settled on me.

I pricked my ears, slightly puffing out my chest.

"…Galeheart shall be deputy!" Streamstar finished, turning away from me to lay her gaze upon _him_.

I stared in disbelief as the Clan started to chant Galeheart's name. I looked around desperately, and what broke my heart was…that they _approved_. They approved! How could they forget me…? My dreams…my dreams…Oh my StarClan, they were _destroyed_ the heartbeat Streamstar chose Galeheart! Once again, I was _second _best.

Oh, it hurts. It broke me. My pride. Streamstar had torn it as if she had done it with her own claws. I was in misery…

Galeheart, standing in the front of us, his head high and eyes gleaming. That should've been _me _that stood there. But no…It had to be him.

I rushed out of camp, my heart drowning in anguish. How could they do this to me? How?

Thunder was roaring, lightning was flashing, and rain was pouring by the time I reached the lake. It was roaring, billowing, crashing everywhere. But I did not even flinch at the noise. I was the best…I will always be the best.

I leaped into the lake. I would prove I was the best…I would fight to be the best. You think I am no match for the angry waters? Well, that's my specialty. I would overcome it…or die trying.

But I had too much pride. I _had _to be the best. I was one of those cats who could not take the truth. I was only _second _best. But I would not believe it.

So on that day I fought the waters. Fought to overcome it. Fought to win. Fought to be the best. But the waters won. You know what it did to me? Being bested _two _times? First by Galeheart, then by the waters? It broke my heart. I had no reason to live anymore. My purpose…my dreams…my soul drowned with me that day.

And nobody knew it. They never found my body. They didn't know I died trying to be the best.

**Sad ending, huh? Well, that's what the contest is for. So, I hope you enjoyed! I know it's long, but it's just because of all the effort I put into it. Review! **


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hello, readers! Some of you thought I should add some extra chapters and stuff, so I've thought about it. I'm **_**still **_**thinking about it, though. But this chapter is about what happens **_**after **_**Dapplesnow dies. Here it goes. Put any suggestions or ideas in your reviews!**

The last thing I felt before everything went black was _angriness. _Angriness at everything the world had done to me. Angriness for taking away my dreams. Dreams are a special part of our lives. It helps give us a purpose. Me? My purpose was gone. No reason to live anymore. Everything was worth _nothing_.

That was the last thing I ever felt in the world. After that, water entered my lungs and my life-force ebbed away. I let go…I let go of the grasp I had to live. I let the darkness take me.

oOo

I woke up to starlight. It was blinding white, and I squinted as it stung my eyes. I looked away, trying to gain sense of my surroundings.

"Welcome to StarClan, Dapplesnow."

I lifted my head and opened my eyes to see my mother standing in front of me. She had died a moon after I had been made a warrior. An infection had spread in her blood, poisoning her system. She had died horribly, spasms racking her body and fever so hot that I could feel it a claw-length away. The last words she had said to me before she died had been, 'Always win, Dapplesnow'. Huh, always win. I _always _won, mother. But unfortunately, I could not fulfill her last wish as well as I thought I would. I _lost_.

"Mother?" I got to my paws, my eyes wide. "Am I dead?"

"Yes, dear, you are now in the realm of your ancestors," my mother whispered, stepping forwards and touching her nose to my head. "You're home."

oOo

I had many reunions with my dead Clanmates. Lilystep, the old medicine cat. Fireblossom, an elder. Brownfeather, one of my friends from kithood. And I met so many others…so many. I could not believe I was with them. When I thought about dying, I always thought I'd die after living nine lives as leader. You can say I _killed _myself. Yes, I did. I let myself die.

oOo

I stared down at RiverClan below me, jealously boiling in my heart. Streamstar was dead. She had lost her last life at the paws of a badger. Not that I cared about _her_. I cared about what _Galeheart _would get himself into. He would be made leader of RiverClan. Not me. My mother sat beside me, watching Streamstar's death with sad eyes.

"She was a great leader," she murmured.

I couldn't help but curl my lips in disgust. Great leader? Ha, she killed me. I killed myself, but she was the one who had caused it. I hated her for it.

My mother knew what I was feeling.

"Dapplesnow…don't be mad at her," she mewed softly, looking at me with sad blue eyes. "It was not her fault, you know."

I narrowed my eyes. "That's what _you _think, mother. You don't know what I've been through." I glared down at the Clan, my heart as cold as ice as Streamstar's body was laid in the middle of camp for vigil. "You don't know what I've lost."

"Dapplesnow…you would've made a great Clan leader if you'd had patience," my mother whispered quietly, staring down. "You would've been a Clan leader if you had just waited."

I looked over at my mother, growling. "Streamstar didn't think I was good enough! You know how much that broke me?"

"If you've waited for Streamstar to die and Galeheart to become leader, he would've chosen you to be his deputy," my mother meowed, not meeting my gaze. "_He _knew you. He knew your talent."

I flicked away my initial shock. Did that mean I would've been leader after all if I'd lived? "I hated being _second _best," I hissed. "It means nothing of what he thinks. Obviously, Streamstar thought he was better than me."

"He had better skills, Dapplesnow, but you have a better spirit." My mother looked at me, her eyes full of sorrow. "Only those that love you with their life can read your spirit. Galeheart loves you. He knew your spirit was full of fighting and dreams. If only you had loved him back…"

I stared at my paws, my stomach churning. Galeheart loves me? I admit, we'd had our times before…before I began to hate him. I thought we'd make a life together one day. But I had dumped that idea the heartbeat he began to show his skills. He had become an enemy, not a friend. Does he still love me? And do I still love him?

I watched silently at the world below as Galeheart and Morningfeather, the medicine cat, prepared to leave for the Moonpool. He would be Gale_star_ by dawn.

"You will be one of the cats to give Galeheart his nine lives," my mother said, getting to her paws. I glanced at her, surprised. _Me? _

"Mother, I can't!" I said desperately, my paws shaking. "I can't meet him again! I don't want to!"

"You still have feelings for him, Dapplesnow," my mother whispered, padding away. "I know you do. And it is a job for you to give him one of his lives."

"Why?" I asked, my heart burning. I didn't want to meet him! I hated him! "Why do I need to do this?"

My mother paused and looked over her shoulder at me. "Because I'm hoping that you will not hate him once you meet again. I'm hoping that you will forgive him."

I stared at my mother, my eyes slit. Forgive him? Why should I? He was the cause of my death. Or was he? Was it just me, not Streamstar or Galeheart? I knew it deep in my heart. They had not destroyed my dreams. I still had a chance of becoming leader, but my pride led me away. My death was _my _fault.

"Very well," I whispered, following my mother uneasily. Dread filled my heart. "I shall come."

**Review! Any suggestions or comments? Put it in your review! Bye! **


	3. Chapter 3

** Big Question**

**Hello again! Sorry, this is not a new chapter. I just have something important to ask you all. Should Galeheart's leader ceremony be in his POV? Or should it be in Dapplesnow's? Put your preferred answer in your review. Thanks to Icewish, storystorm44, Icefeather, Song of falling feathers, TheMuffinKitty, Lilycloud of ThunderClan, Cinderfern, Moonofbetrayal, Robinwing of Riverclan, and Tigerheartlover for their reviews! Please answer my question, and I shall write the next chapter. Bye!**


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